One thing depression does is that it takes away your joy.
Whatever you enjoy in life, it takes it and stomps it into small shiny bits.
A part of breaking my cycle of depression is that I have started tracking my moods and triggers. That way I can bring them to my doctor and we can work on what helps me and what hurts me. As well, I am working on finding my joy again. Finding what makes me happy.
It didn’t help me much that there was someone who was not working with me to make my mental health better a few years ago. They were quite mentally abusive and manipulative, and needed to deal with their own mental health – which they weren’t. It was during that almost two year period that I lost most of my joy because I was constantly hearing that I wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t “a real [insert thing here]”, because they were the arbiter of who and what that was.
I am now working on combating the negative thoughts that are left over from that time. Also the negative thoughts that have followed me throughout my life. It’s not an easy task.
So, I will be speaking of what brings me joy in upcoming entries.