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Posted in Animals, Life and Things

Ode to My Siamese…

Since 1999, I have had my own Siamese. Before that, my parents had my Siamese. He was brought into our family for me, but unfortunately, I couldn’t take him to university with me. He never forgave me.

The first Siamese to share our home was a seal point apple headed girl we named Ayesha, after Erik’s cat in Susan Kay’s Phantom. She lived to 12, and was the only cat that I can say that I’ve ever seen that put me to shame for being allergic to damn near everything. When she passed on, we decided that we were going to go on without a Siamese in our lives.

That lasted less than six months.

We ventured into the middle of nowhere in Quebec to bring home our current boy, and he was a little stinker (literally) from the word go.

Now, almost 6 years later, I am sitting back and smiling. I have the most laid back ginger meezer in the world I think. He gets along with damn near everyone. I have never seen a Siamese like this. If he doesn’t like you, I’m going to say no to you as well, because his weird-o-meter is very well attuned.

He likes to get on my desk, demanding to be cuddled, at the worst times. I think he knows when I’m trying to get things done. He’s chewed more cables than I care to think about, and done things that I just raise my eyebrows at. He follows me everywhere I go, and when I am feeling blue, is there in a flash to cuddle with me, purring and kneading.

This cat is the source of many Instagram posts, because he’s either just that photogenic or in my face to the point I can’t avoid him. Some days, I don’t know which it is.

I love ya, ya stinky bastard. Now, can I get some work done?

Posted in Health, Life and Things

Finding Happiness

For once, I am actually happy.

Not feeling stupid happy. Just happiness in general. I know there are going to be times where I am not happy, but right now, I see the bright side.

I’m actually getting things worked on and dealt with. I am in pain, which will not go away, but at least mentally, I’m functional again. I’m writing. I’m creating. That is important to me. A famous quote says that a non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.  It’s not wrong.

I am feeling much more me than I have in years… and I like it.

I can only hope that this continues and that I can continue to be happy.

Enjoy a song that makes me smile lately.

Posted in Life and Things

I Need Sticky Notes

I swear, I need more sticky notes.

My life is on sticky notes. There are sometimes that I swear that I keep 3M in business by my purchases of sticky notes alone.

Why you ask? Because I need to have notes in areas I can see them. Otherwise, in true ADHD fashion, I will lose them. Also known as putting them in a very secure place for later. 

Sadly, later can be up to a decade. Yep, that’s helpful, isn’t it?

My health is improving, but I am adjusting to new medications and their side effects. Right now, I am the sticky note queen because of this. Neon colours work best, and not putting them on the whiteboard is always a good idea (because no one wants leftover sticky on their whiteboard, do they?).

I also use them for idea mapping when it comes to my writing. Until recently I didn’t know they made white board things bigger than a desk blotter that you can put on the wall (and “desk blotter” reveals that I am old), so I’ve gotten used to index cards and sticky notes all over the place. I mean, it looks like I’m planning a crime spree sometimes – and that might be easier than trying to keep a timeline together with multiple characters.

So, if you see a woman at Staples with a metric crapload of sticky notes… it might be me.

Posted in Health

Invisible Disability

Not every disability is visible folks. I don’t know how many times we need to repeat it for the people in the back.

Let me say it again.

NOT EVERY DISABILITY IS VISIBLE

I have had my fair share of people tell me that I’m not old enough to be disabled (and… not everyone who is disabled is a senior citizen), that I don’t look sick. Well folks, considering that I’m not an animal with an exoskeleton, you can’t see where my spine is seriously injured. Guess what? I was a child when the initial injury happened. I also have fibromyalgia – which means my nerves are pretty much set to eleven most days. We’re not even going to get into the mental health disabilities because that’s an entry all on its own.

Combine those two alone and there is a reason I have an accessible parking permit. Contrary to most able-bodied persons thinking – they don’t hand those things out like candy.

Today it really hit me about my disability. I can no longer go to events where I am going to have to stand for a long period of time. I can’t even guarantee that I’ll be able to sit for a long period of time without severe pain. I saw a concert listing, something that just five years ago I’d have leapt at the opportunity to go to.  I measured my want to go with the pain that actually going would cause me, and I decided no.

People who don’t have a disability don’t get how it limits your world. You can say “go beyond” all you want – there comes a point where “going beyond” is nothing but ableist bullshit. You get shamed for having something wrong with you. For 99.9% of us who have something that disables us in life, we didn’t ask for it. If we could have chosen freely, we’d have NOT chosen to have it.

And that’s all I currently have to say about that.

Posted in Life and Things

Messy Desk

I’m back at my desk. Finally got my computer back into its dock, and am back where I should feel comfortable. But my whole ecosystem – my desk – is messed up. I hate having a messy desk.

For some, it’s the key to creating. For me, it irks me until I get it to my level of organization. I can’t say if that’s linked to my mental illness, but I know I create more when my desk is, at worst, controlled chaos. Meaning, I know where the heck everything is.

Maybe it’s the old adage of “messy desk, messy mind”. But I know I can creatively leap better when my environment is under a certain amount of control. I’m not as bad as Wasabi in Big Hero 6, but I get him. Everything has a place and everything in its place.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some straightening up to do. :)